Thought for the Day

So ... today's question is aimed at every bloated moron who takes their oversized offspring down to the supermarket in order to stock up on more carbohydrate, saturated fat, and sugar derivatives.

Why? Seriously. Why?

You do know that you can get this nutrition-free crap delivered to your house via the medium of the internet, don't you? Why risk burning those all-important calories that you're clearly hording against the day the fucking sun goes out, or something, by waddling and wheezing your way around the aisles?

No ... surely it's better if you leave your corpulent arses festering on the sofa and have the whole lot delivered to your door? Don't worry, you'll still get plenty of exercise hauling your blubbery frame to the door to sign for the delivery.

Of course, the real beauty of this plan is twofold:

1) You get to gorge yourself stupid on all that pizza and chocolate and fizzy fucking drink that is clearly more important to you than a long life, a pair of trousers without an elasticated waist, or the least modicum of self-respect.

2) I don't have to navigate my way around your gargantuan frames to try and get to the salad aisle, where you have clearly only paused in order to catch your breath before striking out for the grazing pastures of the chips & dips.

To be honest, I don't actually care about you, it's seeing your kids that's doing the damage to my blood pressure. The poor little bastards don't stand a chance. First of all you called them Britney, or Christina, or fucking Wayne and now you're hell-bent on shovelling so much cholosterol-laden shit down their neck that they're already bulging out of their junior fucking shell suits. These poor little bastards don't know any better; they were looking to you to feed them properly. What's your next trick? Showing them how to play with matches? Teaching them not to look before crossing the road.

You make me sick. Someone should fucking prosecute you for child abuse.

Do I come across as angry? Bitter? Good. I'm pleased. Because I am.

'Til next time.