Queuing. That's pretty straightforward, isn't it?
If more than one person wishes to avail themselves of a product or service then they form themselves into a line. Each new person arriving adds themself onto the back of the queue and as each person at the front is served, the queue moves forward. In time, everyone gets served.
No. I don't like queueing. I'll be frank, I fucking hate it. Do I want to be standing in this stinking fucking line, in between the alcoholic who smells of piss and the woman with the mewling brat who's screaming because she won't let the snot-streaked little bastard have another bag of E numbers and sugar?
Of course I fucking don't. That's the point.
Do you hear me, you queue-jumping motherfuckers? I don't want to be standing in this dismal queue any more than you do, but I fucking do it anyway, because I understand that this act is one of the most basic representations of society. That this simple, fundamental demonstration of the concept of community is one of the things that separates us from the bloody animals.
So what makes you so bastard special that rules don't apply to you? You're in a hurry? You've got somewhere better to be?
Guess what? Me, too. So, the only way you legitimately get to be in front of me in this queue is if you were here before me. Anything else and you're just self-centred, inconsiderate twat who thinks that you're better than everyone else.
Newsflash: you aren't. You're one more part of the problem. You're one more symptom of the creeping, festering rot that gnaws away at the simple, basic day-to-day decency that makes living in a community of other human beings bearable.
You're a jumped-up piece of shit. If you don't want to act like a human being, then don't. You're a chimpanzee in a baseball cap. You're a baboon with bling, you useless cunt. Why don't you just shit on the floor while you're at it? Why should you have wait until you get to a toilet to relieve yourself? The rules don't apply to you, do they?
Get to the back of the fucking line and wait your damn turn, just like everyone else.
You don't want to do that? Then how about me, and every other poor git stood in this queue, fucking well makes you?
Like I said yesterday: it's time we collectively grow a spine.
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4 comments:
Have you considered writing ?I have because all the books i have read on this sort of thing are rubbish.
Sadly, I fear that the number of publishers interested in 200+ pages of my frothing rants is depressingly small ...
I dont think this is quite true.I am actually starting to write a book but it has to contain humour as well.I will be looking into it so i will see how things progress.There is a big market for this sort of thing these days.Well written and funny it has to be of course.You might not realise it but your writing is funny.Ranting can get boring if it isnt funny.I dont laugh easily either.
With regards to people who jump the queue i had one just earlier.It turns out i was mistaken to correct him but i did have to ask him not to call me a "fucking cheeky C***" ever again.Very rude indeed.All 5 foot of him.
Good man! Best of luck with the book, Mr Wolf!
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